(WARRENSBURG, Mo.) – Issues of suicide, lack of resources and a lack of preparation for soldiers returning from war.

These were the main issues addressed during Tuesday’s Let’s Talk event hosted by The Spotlight at the Military and Veterans Success Center.

About 25 students, staff, reservist, veterans and Veterans Affairs dependents attended the event.

At least six of those participates said they suffered the loss of a friend or family member due to suicide.

Many of the participates agreed that the Department of Veterans Affairs should do better when providing proper resources for service members and their families during and after deployment.

A female student said the VA puts in a tremendous amount of work when preparing active duty members for war, yet they struggle when it comes time to prepare them to return home.

Another student said the department gives basic information about suicide but it’s not enough.

“How many times have we had the 30-minute don’t-kill-yourself brief? It gets old hearing the leaders say that,” said Branden Willer, junior and an Army E4 specialist.

More than 20 veterans a day commit suicide, according to Veterans Affairs.

Jeff Huffman, director of military and veteran services, said he lost two military friends to suicide. He said he knew he needed to reach out to one of them specifically because he hadn’t heard from him in a while, but when he did it was too late.

Huffman said he suffered from guilt and he blamed himself. He said building and keeping relationships with a veteran could save a life.

“I know now that I couldn’t have prevented it, maybe I could’ve, maybe, I don’t know, but I think relationships are important,” he said. “When we feel alone or hopeless is when we get to the dark area.”

He said when someone is in a dark place, that is when it becomes difficult to convince them that things will be OK.

Huffman said being the child of a military service member can also be tough. However, they are often overlooked in the situation. He said when he decided to re-enlist his son told him, “Dad, you have already served. You are done. We need you.”

“I was joining up again and for two solid days my son wouldn’t talk to me and so I went to my wife and said, ‘What’s wrong with Jacob?’ And she said, ‘You never even asked him,’” Huffman said.

He said those parent and child relationships are also just as important.   

In addition, the participants discussed how the media portrays the military. Brandon Marshall, freshman and military dependent, said not everything you see in the media about the military is true, but there are some outlets that represent the military in the right way.

“I wouldn’t say that the media is having completely just a negative impact on veterans because there have been movies that have been made about true stories out there that show how kind, really hardworking, and unbroken that the military is,” Marshall said.

Huffman said it’s difficult for the media to portray the military perfectly because there’s only so much they are told and can see.

“The tough part about the media effect is that it’s a snippet in time,” Huffman said. “It’s one piece of something. It’s not service in its entirety.”

Veterans, reservists and dependents offered advice on how the university and students can help. Marshall said the university should have an event that educates students and staff about military life. Willer said people should remember to be patient with military service members because the life of living on base is different from living in the civilian world.

“We just came back from a stressful situation, so we’re going to be a little bit angrier than we were before,” Willer said. “But that usually peters out a little.”

At the conclusion of the program, Huffman said the event was a success.

“I don’t think there are any answers or solutions here today, but it’s a good thing to talk about it. It’s a start,” Huffman said.

The Office of Military and Veteran Services is located on the bottom floor of the Elliott Student Union in Room 117.