Dear College Freshman Self,

I’m going to just give you some simple advice to follow or not to follow, but really you should. I know you’re upset that you’re not going to your dream college and following your “dream,” but in the end it works out and is part of a bigger plan. Also, while some of the advice may be more specific to you, really the advice I’m about to give is fantastic advice for anybody, so please share if you want to.

First and foremost, let me let you in on a secret. No one ever has everything figured out. People put on a front that appear they have it all together, but really we are all just fumbling around. And that’s perfectly fine. In fact, it’s awesome. It is so comforting knowing that even as an “adult” we never have all the answers. The secret about being an “adult” is that you find the answers for yourself and make mistakes along the way, but that’s where the best memories lie, in the goof-ups. Another thing: choosing a degree can be frightening and stressful, but it’s OK if you go down a path and you decide that’s not what you want. Don’t feel like you will be stuck in a job you hate for the rest of your life. You can always go back to school and change careers.

Take advice from your elders. While you are not required to act upon that advice, still, you should really listen because while it’s cliché, they have seen and been through a lot and maybe have been through what you’re struggling with. Above, I said that you get to find the answers yourself. That doesn’t mean you can’t take a shortcut and skip a messy mistake by taking someone else’s advice. In fact, I would recommend the shortcut.

The friends you had in high school won’t be your close friends anymore. You will grow apart, but that’s OK. Those friends in high school taught you some very important lessons: how to be compassionate, how to laugh at yourself, how to come out of your shell and how to not let others push you around. They taught you so many great life lessons, they probably didn’t even know they were teaching you, but you picked up on them and hold those lessons close. It’s OK to admire them from afar and still rejoice in their happiness and be somber in their sadness. Just because you don’t speak all the time or hang out anymore doesn’t mean they still don’t have an impact on your life and hold a special place in your heart.

You were the type of kid that didn’t have to try in high school and got straight A’s and didn’t have to study, but let me tell you, that will harm you if you continue with that same mentality. You can’t do that in college, and no, I am not challenging you. Your life will get really rough if you don’t start practicing study techniques (flash cards work best). Also, for the love of God, please stop procrastinating. Maybe if you put a stop to it, it will change how I handle school assignments now. It is such a stressful feeling, and you may think you produce your best work, but really it’s subpar to what you could actually produce.

Don’t be too shy. It’s important to talk to people. That’s how you appear human. It can be frightening, but the more you practice, the easier it will get to converse with people. I’m not asking you to become best friends with everyone you talk to. I’m just saying, having the skills for small talk will come in handy when you’re networking and trying to find a job your senior year, and let’s be honest: We’re shy, so we need the practice. Also network the crap out of every opportunity. Don’t be “that” annoying person though, but do take advantage of networking with those professionals because they are the ones that will be hiring for internships and jobs in the future.

Adopt the mantra, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Now, I’m not saying this as a drunk person trying to do a back flip off a table. I’m saying it as a sober person wanting to talk to that stranger or join that club or email a potential employer about a job interview. This mantra is only to be used in completely sober circumstances. I got my internship this summer because I said to myself, “What is the worst that can happen?” The answer is, they say no, and while no can seem frightening, it actually is a two-letter word that just means I need to move onto the next opportunity. Don’t let the possibility of the word no stop you from going after something awesome, because what if the answer was yes? How many opportunities are you letting pass by because you are scared? It’s like the famous Babe Ruth saying: “Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.”

It’s OK to fail. It’s OK not to get straight A’s. It’s OK to be told no. It’s OK to embarrass yourself every once in a while because it makes you stronger. To be completely honest, in six years, it won’t matter what grade you got on that paper because that F on a paper won’t stop you from getting a job. You totally embarrassing yourself won’t matter because how many people can’t remember what they had for dinner two weeks ago? What are the odds they can remember you doing whatever you did? The embarrassment is always magnified in your eyes, so really, it’s not as bad as you think it is. So when something happens, take Elsa’s advice and “let it go!” You won’t get that reference, but in a year you will and it will become a huge phenomenon, so be prepared and just “let it go!”

Take every opportunity you have to travel, especially if it is in a group setting because, let’s be honest, you’re not quite ready for solo travel. Take every advantage because traveling widens your view of the world and teaches you how insignificant you are compared to the other 6 billion people that live on this planet. Experience the culture, the strange food and friendly faces across the world when you’re not tied down to a 40-plus hour workweek and have a mortgage and a family to support. Take advantage of every moment that you have.

Don’t be stupid. Fill out every single scholarship opportunity that crosses your way because having mounds of student loan debt is not fun, and having it accrue interest is even worse. Be smart with your money. Always buy your books at the cheapest possible price (Amazon, Chegg, etc.) and when you get into your degree field, try to find people you can trade books with. It will save you hundreds of dollars. Teach yourself to cook. While the first few attempts may be awful, in the long run you’ll get great at it and it will save you loads of money because you are not eating out all the time.

Adopt healthy habits now because when you get older, it gets harder to change those habits. Teaching yourself to cook will really help in this department. Start running. You’ll hate me for saying this, but you actually enjoy running. It is so freeing, and it gives you time to think. Being healthier actually makes your mood improve and makes you more focused on daily tasks, so living a healthier lifestyle is very beneficial. Now, I’m saying healthier, not vegan or gluten free, just healthier. You can still have those potato chips.

Finally, spend more time with family. They have stories to tell and laughter to give. Spend time with them now, while you have extra time to give because you never know when one of them will be gone. Learn to appreciate their quirks now because you’ll be spending a lot of time with them. The sooner you can get past the quirks, the more fun you’ll have. Learn that their intentions are good, even if they bug the hell out of you. They’re your family, and they really do want what’s best for you.

Some of my advice I still find hard to follow, but practice makes progress, and really, I have the rest of my life to figure out this adult thing.

Good luck from an almost adult, and remember: It’s the journey that counts, not the destination, unless that destination is Harry Potter World.

All the best.
Amanda Owens